Divorce is a big decision. If you are asking this question right now, first we want to say, we are here for you. Hopefully, this article will help you understand what God says about marriage and divorce.
The following are ten things the Bible says about marriage and divorce. These ten reasons are taken from an article, originally by Bobby Harrington. Click to read the full article.
1. God established marriage and it is good.
One of the first teachings in the Bible, is how God created marriage. He made Adam first and then declared, “It is not good for man to be alone”. This is the first time, in God’s perfect creation, that He declares something as “not good”.
He takes a rib from the man, forms a woman, and joins them in marriage. Genesis 2:24 says, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
The Bible teaches that marriage is not a man-made tradition, but, rather a God-created institution designed for human flourishing. God establishes marriage and, as we will see, it is His will that marriage should be a permanent, life-long covenant.
2. God made marriage for companionship, sexual enjoyment, and godly offspring.
God’s gift to humankind of marriage features three main things.
Primarily, the Bible teaches that marriage is for companionship. Remember, God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” While sex is an amazing gift of God, a marriage built on sex is destined to fail. Marriage is first and foremost designed for unity and safety in being known initimately by another human.
A secondary purpose of marriage is for sexual enjoyment. God really means this. Sex outside of marriage is forbidden by the Bible. But, God does not intend for His people to despise sex either. Rather than being dirty or shameful, sex is holy and healthy for a married couple to express their deepest love for one another. The Song of Solomon is the cheif witness to the fact that God celebrates married sex.
Thirdly, God has designed marriage to produce and provide a home for children. Genesis 1:28 commands humankind to be fruitful, multiply and fill the earth. Psalm 127 says blessed is the man who has a quiver full of arrows (children).
3. Christians should not judge non-Christians who get divorced.
God’s ways are best for everyone, regardless of what you believe. He designed marriage for human flourishing and divorce wrecks that.
With that said, Christians are too quick to be judgmental of non-Christians who have sinned in their marriage. Jesus changes all of us and brings forgiveness and redemption to all who trust in Him, no matter what you’ve done.
4. Regardless of your past, you are welcome at our church.
As the origianl author puts it, “We cannot unscramble scrambled eggs.” Meaning, what is done is done. The cross has exposed us all. We are all sinners and no one is beyond forgiveness.
In the Bible, people come to Jesus and the church from all walks of life. The apostle Paul describes examples of these former activities, including people who had been sexually immoral, adulterers, and homosexuals.
Paul goes on to describe the incredible trasnformation that Jesus had performed in those who are now washed and sanctified by believing in Him. Your past does not define you. What you do with Jesus does.
5. God’s teaching on divorce reflects God’s relationship with us.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.” (5:31-32)
Paul calls back to Genesis and claims marriage as a picture of Jesus’ relationship to His bride, the church. Throughout Scripture, God refers to His people as a bride and refers to Himself as a groom. Marriage was insituted to help us understand God’s love for His people.
6. Jesus teaches that divorce and remarriage results in adulterous relationships.
Jesus is clear in both Luke 16:18 and Mark 10:11-12 that whoever divorces (except for sexual immorality) and marries another commits adultery. Further, if someone marries a divorced person, they commit adultery also.
This is difficult for our culture to grasp, but Jesus is clear.
Divorce was never God’s intent. If someone gets a divorce and marries another, they are committing adultery (unless the reason for the divorce was already adultery).
7. Jesus gives an exception: Divorce is authorized in the Bible for sexual immorality and desertion by an unbeliever.
While this point is debated by some who would claim that divorce is never acceptable, the traditional Protestant position is that Jesus’ words permit divorce under two circumstances; if your spouse commits sexual immorality, or if you are deserted by an unbeliving spouse.
It should be noted, that in neither case is divorce commanded or prescribed. It would appear, however, that is permitted, and therefore not sinful, to pursue a divorce in such circumstances.
The relevant Scriptures on this topic are Matthew 5:31-32 and 1 Corinthians 7:10-12.
8. Sexual immorality is a sexual relationship outside the biological husband/wife marriage bond.
Since sexual immorality is an exception to Jesus’ teaching on divorce, we should define sexual immorality.
1 Corinthians 6:18 offers a summary of what constitutes sexual immorality:
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
Jesus goes beyond mere actions and declares that lustful thoughts are a form of sexual immorality:
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matt. 5:28)
These are not fleeting thoughts or ideas that sometimes come to mind. Like premediated murder, this “looking lustfully” is an active, intentional, sexual coveting of someone other than your spouse.
As the original author explains, “Some believe that the willful, ongoing, and regular practice of pornography might be equated to sexual immorality as a grounds for divorce…This is a tricky point because, at a practical level, almost everyone could accuse their spouse of some form of lust at some point in their marriage. And the majority of men and women in America have viewed pornography. In my opinion, most of this does not equate to the kind of sexual immorality that Jesus was likely referring to when discussing grounds for divorce (as a review of Leviticus 18 will show).
But what about an in-depth, life-altering addiction to pornography?
The women who met with the elder group reviewed the following facts with the elders as they sought the support of the elders for divorce:
- Their husbands were engaged in viewing pornography and masturbating over it for hours every day.
- Their husbands would not accept help from professionals and/or stay with it.
- Their husbands would not respond to accountability from them or the leaders of the church.
- Their husbands’ behavior—springing from the addiction—was very dysfunctional, including their unwillingness to have normal sexual relations with their spouse.
- The behavior was long standing.
The elders made the decision to support these women in their belief that this repeated behavior was the equivalent to the sexual immorality Jesus had in mind when he declared it to be grounds for divorce. I believe they made the right decision.”
9. Abuse often necessitates separation.
Many, understandably, object to God’s teaching on divorce in situations of abuse. Paul describes God’s attitude to those who abuse others:
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified…no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before.” (1 Thess. 4:3-6)
God does not mince His words. God will punish abusers. In the meantime, we affirm that abuse warrants both intervention and support by the church and involvement by local law enforcement and support agencies.
In many cases, separation is necessary while help and repentace is being pursued.
10. Churches should seek to excel at supporting and affirming celibacy for singles.
While most people will be called to marriage, there are ministry advantages for those whom God has called to a lifetime of celibacy. This is not a lifestyle that should be pursued by anyone whom God has not called to it, but for some, God gives grace to live a life of complete abstinence.
Online Resources
- Online resources for marriage in crisis: https://marriagehelper.com/articles-and-videos/
- Online resources with a biblical viewpoint on marriage and divorce: https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/topics/marriage/
- Online resources from Renew.org: https://renew.org/resource-search?topic=family
5 Recommended Books on Marriage
- Sacred Marriage: What if God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?, by Gary Thomas
- Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs, by Emerson Eggerichs
- The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God, by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, by Gary Chapman
- The Mystery of Marriage: Meditations on the Miracle, by Mike Mason
Overflow Church 
Leave a comment